Can I let you in on a little secret? Mother's Day...... Not really my favorite day. I am a blessed mom of 2 lovely kiddos and a daughter to a loving mom, but I could take a knee on this holiday. Am I selfish? What's the deal? Should I thank God for this very special day to be honored and honor those around me? In the interest of catchy social media, I will give you my lackadaisical attitude on Mother's Day in 4 Simple Principles.
I'll start out with a little disclaimer in the fact that I am a bubbly, happy cookie. I mean... that type of gal that definitely gets a few eye rolls as I greet my friends and even strangers with an over the top welcome! I seem to take it up a few more notches when you add some cute kiddos to the mix. It's not forced, fake or a muse, it is just me.... the way that God made me. So, why on earth am I not thrilled of the idea to spend a special day with my loved ones?
One: I'll start out with the first one. I am busy!!! It is a crazy, busy time of the year. I did a little research (aka googled) and according to Wikipedia, Anna Jarvis established the 1st Mother's Day in 1908. Thanks, Anna! So, I am going to guess that Anna was not busy just finishing a big Easter celebration, managing 1st Holy Communions, shuffling kiddos among the spring sporting leagues, packing up boy scouts for their annual camping trip, gearing up for Memorial Day, volunteering for year end school celebrations (and there are many!!!!), handling Teacher's Appreciation, planning for dance recitals, organizing end of year school thank you gifts, and the list continues. I am not sure what Anna was doing and I am quit sure that she spent countless hours tending to her home, washing clothes, probably didn't have any 'me' time and understood the true meaning of farm to table cooking verses my sad attempt of plucking one tomato out of our garden to adorn our Trader Joe's frozen veggie bite dinner fresh out of the microwave. Yes, Anna set the stage for one more item on my Spring 'To Do' list. Thank you, girlfriend!
Two: The day is not really about me. Let's call it what it is. Mother's Day is not about me as a mom. In my case, it is is about my mom, mother-in-law and grandmother-in-law. Since I have to organize what we will be doing, I will be the one hosting a Mother's Day Brunch. I could have my husband in charge, but fair or unfair.... He will never do it right!!! Okay, first....I complain about a lot of things, but my husband is usually not one of them. I really hit the jackpot or well....craftily selected the right one. Either way, I am loved, heard and always forgiven. I can't ask for more. Yet, if my husband were to take care of Mother's Day brunch, there would not be a lovely table setting, fresh flowers, appropriate beverages, fun surprises for the kiddos, carefully selected and beautifully wrapped gifts, homemade baked treats, and there is NO WAY he could coordinate and actually convince my daughter to don a lovely outfit as this involves a calculated skill level that takes years of perfecting. This might be an issue of control and that is fair game. -Yet, this is supposed to be my special day. Why can't I have it all?
Three: There is no Day After!!! So, every since my son was born, my NEW favorite holiday is the Day After. I love the day after Christmas, day after Easter, day after birthdays, day after Halloween, day after Thanksgiving, etc.... I am an interesting blend of someone that adores people, gatherings and celebrations!!! Yet, when my home is filled with all the amazing people, joy, laughter and love that God has put into my home, I sometimes can not take it all in. I am enjoying myself, but get lost in the crowd. I'm less focused on my children, don't even know where my husband is and am trying mostly to make sure everyone is comfortable, fed and Very unthirsty!! Yet, on the day after...... That's the day. That's MY DAY!!! The crowds have left, the dust has settled and that is MY time with MY family. I get to truly see and enjoy the special moments with my children. I can hear them again. They can share with me what they loved and what didn't go so well. They give me a recap of what went down in the basement (that's were the real kid dirt goes on). We can stay in our PJ's a little longer or the whole day. There is NO COOKING (thank you, God) because our home is filled with food. We are left with time to play board games, shuffle cards, watch movies, sit by the fire and make hot cocoa to wash down all our left over goodies!!! It's the day after, that I can truly thank God for all of my many blessings, process the joys in my life, and RELAX because my immediate workload has been lightened for the next week or so or at least a day.
Yet, Mother's Day is just sandwiched in there on a busy Sunday in May. -And, a Sunday of all days?That's the day where I spend half of my day at church and the other half regrouping and resetting for the week. All moms know the drill... book bags, water bottles, uniforms, instruments, laundry, lunches, dinner, snacks, calendar updates, scheduling conflicts, PTO prep, etc. I don't have my special 'day after' detox on Mother's Day where the true holiday joy lies for me and my much needed prep day is cannibalized.
Four: I have a little extra something to make Mother's Day a tough one for me as my mom has Alzheimer's. The amazing, God loving, graceful me would feel very honored and blessed to share in these special moments with my mom as my days with her are ever changing and coming to end. The better me would be reflective and thankful for all of the amazing years that I had in the past. Yet, the live and uncut version of me is just annoyed and angry that this lady sitting next to me is no longer my mom. She is not the elegant, beautiful women that was poised, put together, dressed to a tee and full of life. She is no longer the playful, lighthearted and let's order a extra large brownie for dessert after lunch on Sunday afternoon mom. She can no longer take me shopping at JCPenney's (my dad worked there for 30 some years so we got a discount) and remind me with a smile on her face that, "we won't tell dad," as she would pull cash out of her own work money envelope. Most of all, she is no longer the person that I can turn to when I need help with the kiddos, guidance, cheer leading or a good laugh. I can tell you that I did not know that she was that pillar for me until that support was gone. I do not have that mom anymore.
I have a woman that is slowly slipping away and I have yet to find the grace, joy and acceptance of such. I hate Alzheimer's with a passion and everything that it has done to my mom, dad, brother and my own family. It is pretty tough for me to don that big smile and celebrate my mom when I don't really have my mom to celebrate. -And I know that I am not alone in this journey as so many have lost their moms or other loved ones to this disease, many other illnesses, and countless other circumstances. So, it is with a heavy heart that I pray for God to give me and all those in need the strength and wisdom to navigate through this potentially tough holiday.
So, there are my quick and dirty 4 principles for openly saying that I could skip over that 2nd Sunday in May, and be just fine. With that being said, I just had my son's 9th birthday party yesterday, and I was filled with love, laughter and joy. I am so blessed and honored to be a mom. I do not feel this way all the time and don't get me started on how I am feeling @ 4pm homework time, but I most certainly feel it often enough so if I must down a Momosa this May 14th, so be it!
I'm Rachel Myers, a mom of 2, married to my college guy, former Corporate America gal that stayed home with the kiddos, and preK teacher working on my Masters in Education. This is my little spot to reflect and make it through my journey. Sometimes I lean on Christ and sometimes I forget. Along the way, I love finding inspiration from others, spreading the good in people and finding the joy in God !